so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
