I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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