the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Banned from zoo.
Again?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Pants are for mortals
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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