3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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