I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
