Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
