I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You are a genius and a whore.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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