I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Apparently you make a good broom.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I have post one night stand depression
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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