Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
