She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
