mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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