Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I wish there were birth control emojis
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
