yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
