i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
