do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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