I just threw up on my dentist
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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