i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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