I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
