I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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