i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
