It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
There are leaves in my underwear?
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