i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
