his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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