I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize