I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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