The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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