I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize