This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
