worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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