I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
