I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
