I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
