Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize