I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
