i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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