ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
