i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
