and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
