i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
