You can't special order awesome
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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