I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Vodka?
Forever.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
