Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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