I got chris browned last night
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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