i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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