Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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