i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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