If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
