There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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