I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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