Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
