I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
