I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i will never coherently bang her
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
