glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
