so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
