Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
