but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
