So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
