garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Too much gin, very little bucket
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You are the jesus of drinking
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
