my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
