things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize