Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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