Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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