it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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