I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
