I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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