Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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