Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
