Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
