Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize