I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize