Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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