If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
