Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
